De Ja’ Vu

I caught myself aimlessly scanning the sparce waiting room.  Twiddling my thumbs, worn out, in my own world while waiting for my name to be called.  Wishing I was somewhere else?  Anywhere but here.  Ugh, I can’t believe I’m waiting to get hypnotized.  But what else can I do, other than this? The receptionist quickly slammed her window open. 

Sweetly shouting to get my attention, “Jennifer...Jennifer, the doctor will see you now.”

Shaking my head, “Oops I didn’t hear you; I must be in a brain fog.”  

Both of us giggled as she buzzed me in. Peering down a musty smelling, long dark hallway, with flickering lights.  

She led me to the end room, “Just relax in this chair, the doctor will be in soon.”   Abruptly closing the door behind her, like she opened her window.  

I thought to myself, “What an odd trait, rough and tumble with louds of sweetness.”

She left me in the dimly lit, cozy room.  Wafts of lavender instantly relax my senses.  Making myself at home, my eyes adjusting to a different sort of dark. I perused around.  Just a couple of lazy boy chairs facing perfectly for conversation, a small table in between, no windows just curtains, a camera with a blinking red light facing me.  The temperature was perfect, but I still threw the blanket from the back of my chair over my legs.   Soon, there were two quick taps at my door.  

Without waiting for me to say come in, a middle aged, portly man with combed over hairdo entered, “You must be Jennifer” 

“Uh huh,” I grunted.    

“So. have you ever been hypnotized before, Jennifer?” he asked, plopping into his chair. 

“No,” I answered, “but I don’t know what else to do.”  

“No worries, you came to the right place.  You’re always going to be in control of you.  You're in a safe spot.  If you have an open mind about the whole process, we can go deep into the past.”  

“That’s why I’m here, I know you’re the best with past life regression therapy.”  I said with confidence.  

“Ahh, your sweet.  Let’s get started with our journey, shall we?” 

He began by taking his tone of voice down an octave, slowing his pace, taking deep  breath himself, “I want you to stare at the red light flashing under the camera, listen to only my voice. I’ll guide you.  You’re going to hear everything around you.  You will still have complete control. Your mind is a strong entity. Try to get your body to relax so I can take your Soul on an expedition to heal your past. Cleansing your here and now for the future which will be easier to navigate based on lessons from long ago.  You’ll be able to make it stop anytime.  Are you ready?”  

“Yes I am.”  I said as I reclined my chair, without asking.

I began watching the blinking red light.  Focusing.  Talking myself into going with the flow.  I gave in.  He began suggesting for me to take deep breaths.  I can feel the air cascading lavender to my lungs.  I’m drifting into my own little world.  Reminding me, I’m relaxing now.  My eyelids are heavy.  Thinking about nothing.  Listening to the good doctor.  Fighting my eyelids to stay open.  

Knowing all too well I’m taking a shot in the dark to get myself back to me again.  The doctor is leading me to open a door that will take me back to whatever time that my mind chooses to remember.  I can’t believe I’m doing what I’m doing.  What got me to this point of no return?  

I vividly remember the year was 1996.  I thought it was going to be a normal workday to complete my internship.  I gave healing massages, 15 minutes per patient.   She quickly stripped, laying prone on my table.  I covered a sheet over her plump naked butt.  No sooner than I placed my hands on her ailing back, than she popped up.  Her eyes closed.  Hands gently flowing through the air as if catching thoughts.  

“Sarah, Sarah...I’m getting the name Sarah.” Not even knowing my current life name, she      spewed out, “You hate the feel of cotton, don’t you?”  I was stunned as I confirmed her question.  

How did she know that?  I cringe at the sight of cotton balls.  My spit gets watery.  

She bluntly whispered eerily, “You had a past life. You picked cotton in the South.  In this life, you're going to return to the same soil you lived and died on in Sarah’s life. 

            You’ll know exactly where you are when you get there.”  With that, she laid back down like nothing happened, expecting a normal massage.

Time passed with Sarah always in the back of my mind.  Then it happened.  I was in Mississippi.  I had to go to Chickasaw county for work one random day.  When I crossed the county line, I instantly knew where I was.  De Ja' Vu to the Nth Degree.  I knew how to get to town.  I instantly remembered the backroads, the cotton fields, all the sprawling plantations as I drove past.  I was pulled to a long holler road, I began crying. Instantly missing a life cut short.  I felt like I had found my long-lost home as I stared at that damn plantation.

Flashing forward.  Catching back up to me here and now.  My eyes are heavier than ever before.  Listening to his soothing voice.  Drifting further deep into my ID part of my mind's eye like watching a time forgotten. I’m back home.  Running with glee in familiar fields.  Hugging my family and friends that’s dead and gone like me.  An instant cherished memory to soak in. 

         Then my bittersweet reunion was interrupted by the doctor asking a question to Jennifer,

 “Look down at your feet Jen, what color are your they?”   

      Answering back with a deep southern drawl, “Black, and you can call me Sarah.”